Holidays can be wonderful. They can also be hell. Complex emotions and expectations surrounding major holidays can take a toll emotionally and cognitively, often impacting our physical well being as well.
This short series offers a few things to rethink.
Retool. Refresh. Reexamine. Rejuvenate.
With a bit of reflection and modification, we can make the holidays brighter and lighter for ourselves and the ones we love.
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This second article about limiting commitments. During holidays, there's often so many events, parties, dinners, plays, parades, and gatherings. We end up bouncing from one thing to the next. Always watching the clock. On the move. Half awake, half paying attention, half enjoying anything at all.
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PICK A NUMBER
I'm only going to do _____ things in this week. I'm only going to do _____ things in this month. I'm only going to do _____ things in this season. Pick a number that feels manageable. Pick a number that feels relieving. Commit and practice saying no. "I can only honor two commitments that week, and I'm already full up. I'll let you know if that changes." "That month is jammed packed for me. I want to give you my full attention, not just one foot out the door. Can we set something up in January instead?" "I know we normally get together on that date, but this year I'm trying to limit my commitments and reduce stress. Can we choose another date and then re-evaluate moving forward?"
[My] greatest life lesson: to recognize I am solely responsible for doing what my heart says all the time. -Oprah Winfrey
PICK A RADIUS
One of the things that can make holidays stressful is an abundance of traveling. The car, train, or plane... traveling involves a lot of rigamarole.
Sometimes we can't avoid it. Families and friends simply aren't always nearby. But how far and how often we travel is an opportunity to reduce strain.
Think about other options before locking in to holiday travel outside a comfortable radius:
Can you visit each other digitally instead?
Can you meet somewhere in the middle?
Can you trade who travels each year?
Can you delay your visit to a less busy time?
And if you are traveling to get away from it all - is there a better escape to be had with less travel? Can some quiet time at home serve the same purpose as a far flung get away? Or being a tourist in your own city?
PICK THE BEST
Take an inventory: a hard look at all the events you have attended in the past, and all the events you are likely to be invited to in the future. What are you most excited to see or do? What would you miss if it didn't happen? What well and truly fills you with joy? And what is fueled by social pressure? What feels more like an obligation? What leaves you feeling drained? When you have a limit on your commitments you can pick and choose the events that offer the most to you and your loved ones, instead of trying to maximize the season doing everything and being everywhere.
You are under no obligation to diminish yourself to make others more comfortable. -Emma Magenta
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